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Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where people only experience sexual attraction to folks that they have close emotional connections with. In other words, demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has formed. Demisexual people experience attraction to a select group of people.
You can be sexually attracted to someone without having sex with them, and you can have sex with someone without actually feeling attracted to them. That said, some demisexual people might choose to wait a while before having sex with a romantic partner — but this is independent of their sexual orientation. This question is cause for a lot of debate in the asexual, graysexual, and demisexual communities. An asexual person experiences little to no sexual attraction.
Somebody who tends to feel intense sexual attraction toward nearly all of their closest friends and partners — but not toward acquaintances or strangers — might feel that they are demisexual but not asexual at all. Someone who is only sexually attracted to one or two close friends or partners, but not often and not intensely, might identify strongly with graysexuality or asexuality.
On the other hand, people argue that demisexuality falls under the asexual banner. This is because demisexuality does describe a situation where you only experience sexual attraction in limited circumstances. So yes, you can be demisexual and also homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, heterosexual, and so on — whatever best describes your individual orientation. Demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after a close emotional bond has formed. This is different to seldom experiencing sexual attraction. You can simultaneously identify as demisexual and graysexual or demisexual and asexual.
As mentioned before, demisexual people might identify as asexual, graysexual, or allosexual. Sexuality and orientation are fluid. You might find your capacity for sexual attraction shifts over time. For example, you might go from being allosexual to being graysexual to being asexual. Interestingly, the Asexual Census found that over 80 percent of its respondents identified as another orientation before they identified as asexual, which demonstrates how fluid sexuality can be. In relationships, demisexual people might or might not choose to have sex. To some demisexual people, sex might not be important in relationships.
Some might choose to wait until they feel close enough to their partner, and some might opt out altogether. Some might have sex with their partner without feeling sexually attracted to their partner. Every demisexual person is different.
So, a demisexual person might have an emotional bond with someone and feel sexually attracted to them, but not necessarily want a romantic relationship with that person. The words used to describe these feelings include:. This includes demisexual people who may also identify as asexual or graysexual.
And yes, it can feel enjoyable for them. Again, every person is unique, and what one demisexual person enjoys might not be what another person enjoys. Of course, there are no right or wrong answers. Every demisexual person would answer differently based on their own feelings and experiences.
However, asking yourself these questions can help you understand and process your feelings about sexual attraction. You can learn more about demisexuality online or at local in-person meetups. Her writing covers issues relating to social justice, cannabis, and health. You can reach out to her on Twitter. Society typically tells us that there are two sexes, male and female, and that they align with two genders, man and woman. With the increased….
But what does this actually mean? Here, we break down the…. Have you ever felt behind? Like your straight, cisgender friends have more romantic or sexual experience? This may be tied to "second queer…. Being homoromantic isn't the same as being gay.
While homoromantic is about romantic attraction, gay refers to sexual attraction. Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph. Definition Type of bond Why labels matter Bond vs. What exactly does demisexual mean? What kind of bond are you talking about — love?
Wait, why does that need a label? Does an emotional bond guarantee that sexual attraction will develop? Does this orientation fit under the asexual umbrella? Can you apply a gender orientation to this? What does being demisexual look like in practice?
How is this different from being graysexual? Is it possible to be both at the same time or fluctuate between the two? What about elsewhere on the spectrum? Can you move between periods of sexuality and asexuality? Can demisexuals experience other forms of attraction? What does being demisexual mean for partnered relationships? Is it OK to not want a relationship at all? What about sex? Where does masturbation fit into this? How do you know where you fit under the asexual umbrella — if at all?
Where can you learn more about being demisexual? Read this next. Medically reviewed by Alana Biggers, M. Teenage Dream or Teenage Scream?Im looking for an attractive friend
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What Does It Mean to Be Demisexual?