Added: Nastasia Buchheit - Date: 28.09.2021 09:40 - Views: 45203 - Clicks: 1595
We have had our ups and downs like most couples. Around three years ago, he had various online emotional affairs, during which time he was also masturbating to porn rather than having sex with me. This went on for quite some time, but after seeking the support of a relationship counsellor, we agreed he would refrain from this for a while so that we could work through stuff together.
Now we are at the stage where I feel I want to give him back some of his rights in that area. He and I are very open about things and I know how important and healthy masturbation is for a relationship.
We agreed he can masturbate but not watch porn. So he asked that I send him pictures and videos of me which has actually been quite fun for both of us.
We are rebuilding trust and it feels good, but he now wants to be able to watch Masturbation partner wanted again occasionally, and I have a problem with this. Just thinking about it makes my heart race and I freak out. I don't know how to be ok with him being turned on by other women and not feel threatened by it. I'm really struggling to separate him having those thoughts and fantasies and it not meaning he wants someone else over me or that I'm not good enough.
With all those apparently perfect bodies it's so understandable that having a partner watch porn can feel threathening in every sense. It's certainly the case that sometimes people develop an addiction to porn and masturbation. Rather, it sounds to me as if you remain very hurt and unhappy about having your trust broken and understandably feel that policing what he does is the only way to make sure he doesn't do it all over again.
People get concerned about porn for all sorts of reasons and the reason that it's troubling you is very common. Obviously he would then have a decision to make as to whether he can do without porn in his life. Of course, for some, it becomes a real problem and entire lives get taken over. Slowly, partners, friends and family get screened out and even work starts to get neglected. But very few relationships work well with one person telling the other what they can and cannot do and yet expecting the relationship to endure.
It breeds resentment and gets into that usually very unhelpful parent-child dynamic. This often has the opposite effect to the one intended. In many ways, I think the Masturbation partner wanted issue here is who is in charge of what and perhaps working this out is the challenge facing both of you now.
But what I would say is that relationships tend to be positive when each partner gets some of their needs met most of the time and vice versa.
I think you both need to keep an equal eye on things and keep talking. If you have a relationship worry you would like some help with, please send it to askammanda relate. You are here Home Relationship help Help with sex Sex common problems Ask Ammanda: I can't deal with my boyfriend masturbating to porn.
Ask Ammanda: I can't deal with my boyfriend masturbating to porn. My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years and we live together.
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Ask Ammanda: I can't deal with my boyfriend masturbating to porn