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I would like some advice on how I can meet new people and get more friends. After all, friends form a big part of our life for most of us. They are the ones who walk through life together, share our ups and downs, and pains and joys. If you are looking to make new friends, you have to get clear on what kind of friends you want to make. Broadly speaking, there are 3 types of friends :.
Most of us are looking to make regular friends and if possible, true, soul friends. We probably have a lot of hi-bye friends — more than we can count. No matter whether you just want to make normal or best friends, you can do that. You may not believe it, but I was a very quiet and secluded girl back during my primary and secondary school years.
When I was in junior college, I maintained this seclusive lifestyle, though I began to speak up more. Today I run my blog and coach others through coaching and workshops where I share a lot of my life to others. If you take a look at the people out there who seem to make friends easily, they were probably seclusive themselves at some point. Their social skills were likely all picked up over time.
For this same reason, you can learn to become more sociable through time and practice. The first step is to develop a healthy mental image of meeting new people.
Some of us see meeting new people as a scary event. We are concerned about making a good impression, whether the other person will like us, how to keep the conversation going, and so on. The more we think about it, the scarier it seems. This initial apprehension develops into a mental fear, which takes a life of its own and unknowingly blocks us from making new friends.
Shyness toward others is actually a result of fear.
Actually, all these fears are just in our head. Truth be told, they are just as scared as you are. I think not. If so, start small first. Lower the difficulty of the task by starting with your circle of friends, i.
Some ways to do that:. Once you are out there with people around you, someone has to make the first move. Get to know each other a little better! Read: 10 Rules of a Great Conversationalist. Sometimes you may have a preset notion of the kind of friend you want. Maybe someone who is understanding, listens, has the same hobbies, watches the same movies, has similar educational background, etc. Give the friendship a chance to blossom.
More importantly, give yourself a chance with this New here need some friends friendship. I have several very good friends who come from totally different backgrounds, and I would never have thought that we would be so close when I first knew them, simply because we are so different. On the same note, open your heart to the person. This connection between you and the other party can only begin when your heart is open. This means to be trusting, have faith, and believe in the goodness of others.
When I make new friends, I open myself fully, with full faith that they are good people, with good hearts and good intentions. I notice that because I do that, it has helped me foster a lot of genuine relationships which are built on trust, love and faith. One simple example is how I open myself to all of you fully on my blog, and in return, I attract readers who are genuine, supportive, and kind.
I know that because I can feel the warmth from all of you whether in your s, comments, or messages. A friendship is about both you and the other person. Get to know the person as an individual. Here are some questions to consider:. Often times we are too caught up with our own concerns — such as what others will think of us, what we should say next, what our next action is — that we miss the whole point of a friendship.
What defines the friendship is the connection between you and the friend. Show warmth, love, and respect toward everyone you meet. Do things because you want to, and not because you have to. Care for them like you would yourself. If you approach others with genuinity, you will attract people who want to connect genuinely. Among them will be your future true friends. Why do I say that?
Say you make many new friends by being vocal and brassy. However, your normal self is quiet and introverted. What happens then? It may be great initially to get those new friends, but the friendship was established with you being an extrovert. That means either:. So, just be yourself. The truest friendships are built with both parties accepting each other for who they are. A friendship is a supportive union between two people.
Be there for your friends where you can. Does any of your friends need help currently? Is there anything you can help them with? How can you better support them? Rather, help unconditionally. Treat them with emotional generosity. Give because you want to, not because you feel obliged to. I find that the satisfaction I get from helping others and knowing they are better off is a reward greater than anything I can get in return.
At the end of the day, continual effort is required to maintain the friendship. Willingness to make the effort is what differentiates great friends from hi-bye friends. Ask your friends out every once in a while. The strength of your relationship is not measured by how frequently you meet. For some of my best friends, we meet only once every few months. If both of you have your own set of engagements, it may be hard to find time together. Arrange for a simple meetup, say over lunch, tea, or dinner time. Or you can always catch up over text messages, online chat, or phone calls.
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Making Good Friends